Wednesday, January 11, 2006

August 5th huh?
I must have been side tracked for a while THEN I got a full time job Sept 1st.
I have been consumed by the job and tired ever since then.
This is just a mis-adventure along the path to my real career.
And long the way found out I'm borderline diabetic or could be if I'm not careful with my diet.
And today I woke up with a screaming headache, so I'm home. It, the headache, is still trying to fight it's way to the fore but with sleep and proper medication (heh heh) I keep driving it back.
I should get a shower and go into work for a while, I have an update I am suppose to give at a meeting tomorrow. I could ask for a posponement, that happens all the time. Even if it's the bosses request for a meeting if he's busy things will just linger till he's ready or he'll call one of the administrative assistants and move it back an hour or two, whatever suits him regardless of the destruction to everyone elses schedule and preparation. Do I have anger issues?
Part of it is it's my first sitdown desk kinda job and I'm not used to meetings and note taking and journal entries and meeting summaries. As the gateway to the production floor, the Engineering Dept, I'm a programmer/CAD drafter, every job crosses my desk for processing.
New jobs, previously run jobs, I have to put my booger on everything and ya pile all that other crap on top of it and, well, It's not much fun. AND they keep adding more crap to the process.
Well that's enuf blathering for a return entry, not that anyone will ever read it, but all that thinking is on "paper" now so I'll go on my way and.... go get a burger.
Thats BURGER, thanks!

Friday, August 05, 2005

why?...just why

The cruelty. The ways people can take their own screwed up lives and inflict it on someone else, often an innocent random soul...@#$&**&#%?$#@#$@&*#$@*&#$&
Take Action: Demand Justice for Linda
Click on the "Linda's Story" link
This is really one of those that proves humans are the virus they are and should be dealt with appropriately. The cruelest twist is turning everything back on the victim.
I'm simply appalled.
Glad I'm from another planet!

Thursday, August 04, 2005

the Brightest stars

I went because of my son. A young friend of his had just lost her mother. He felt compelled to, I don't know, what do teenagers do, pay his respects. He didn't tell me why he wanted to go. Even if he just wanted to see a bunch of people dressed in black, he wanted to attend the memorial service. I have time, so I took him. For once in my life, we were about a half hour early, trust me that's a miracle. HUGE. I didn't want to embarass my son by being late, it's his event not mine.
University of Oregon, Knight Law Skool, indoor commons. A somewhat stark yet attractive area. We arrive, sign the guest book, and move to watch some sort of powerpoint/slideshow of this womans life. All the usual pictures of her pregnant mother, post birth pics, toddler, youth, teenage photos. Standing on her head, dressed for Halloween. The birth of her own daughter, my sons friend. Life stuff. Amazing how average everyday life stuff photos can hide the wonder inside someone.
Amy Lynn Braun. AA and AS degrees from LCC. BA from UofO in medieval studies including Old English, Ancient Hebrew. Member National Society of Collegiate Scholars. She would have started her second year of law in the fall. At the memorial, her law advisor and medieval studies professor both spoke very emotionally of her as a student and a person.
Not very often you wonder about the people you have never met. I think my son was one of the lucky ones. He got to meet this woman. It wasn't till he realized that she wouldn't be there to wave back as he rode by on his bike, that his emotions overtook him and he cried. Me, I'd been crying for who knows how long. I cried for her daughter. For her daughters best friend, who sobbed uncontrollably near by. For her parents who had out lived their daughter. For my sons and daughter when my day arrives. I cried for all the people I have met and would miss dearly.
I cried for her.
She was 29 years young.


My son and I left and did not go to the reception. He said he didn't think he would hold up. We had lunch, went to Bi-mart, got prescriptions and beer (scripts for me, cheap beer for slug bait....really), and went home.

If you haven't done today what you REALLY want to do in your life.........

Don't wait!

Friday, July 29, 2005

Is it too late?

Gawd,
I just feel like laying down and crying. Or taking a nap. I'm ok on my meds! Got a couple of ideas for shtuff to do but can't fire up. I wanna go to a party and dance, get all hot and sweaty and collapse naked in the corner.........eeeeewwwww SORRY. I'm gonna double check on my meds.
Still wanna go dancin', just not the n...n...n...you know! Thats the kinda shtuff ya do AT HOME
with the CURTAINS CLOSED. probably alone.
I'm gonna go lay down till the nausea passes.
Have a great weekend and lets be SAFE out there!!